Archive for food

THE AMERICAN DREAM

Chicken fried chocolate covered bacon.

Recipe:

1 cup flour
2 eggs
1/3 cup milk
Powdered sugar
Chocolate Fudge sauce or syrup
4 slices bacon
Vegetable oil

Beat eggs and milk in a bowl. Cut bacon slices and half. Dip into egg and then into flour, making sure the slices are well coated. Fill frying pan with enough oil for slices to float and heat on low-medium heat. Fry bacon until crispy golden brown.

PROTIP: For thicker coating, take slices out halfway and redip in flour.

PROTIP: For crispier bacon, pre-fry in unoiled pan until cooked but still limp.

Remove bacon from oil and blot with paper towels. Sprinkle with powder sugar. Place on serving plate and drizzle with chocolate sauce. ENJOY!

I take eggs seriously.

I have some very strong opinions on the matter of omelets. The first being– an omelet is not a quesadilla with a fried egg for a tortilla. That bears repeating. AN OMELET IS NOT A FUCKING QUESADILLA WITH A FRIED EGG FOR A TORTILLA. What is wrong with you people? You think you can fry up a sheet of egg, slap some ingredients on top, and fold it over? That is cheating. If you have to rely on cheese to keep your ingredients from spilling out, you did it wrong.

This is my dinner omelet. Notice the ingredients are held together by EGG. This particularly good because I didn’t feel like eating any damned cheese tonight.

Oh, and if my omelet bleeds runny egg when I cut into it, I will stab whomever made it with my fork. That shit is nasty, yo.

I was a vegetarian for TEN YEARS.

After having fun Halloween festivities, my pals and I stopped by Crif Dogs for delicious carnivore treats. I had never been there, and wasn’t really sure why my friends were so excited. It soon became crystal clear:

That is SO a hot dog wrapped in bacon with cheese and a fried egg.

I so want this.

Dinner post.

Normally, I don’t find dinnertime (especially my dinnertime) fascinating enough to blog about, but this dinner involved BACON.

First, I had to prepare the bacon. I arranged six 3/4-strips of uncooked bacon in a weave-like configuration. Why weave the bacon? Because I’m fancy like that, that’s why. Also, I read about it somewhere. Credit where credit’s due.

I then cooked the bacon in the oven according to the package direction. Usually us hacker types don’t follow directions, but when bacon is involved you can’t be too careful.

While the bacon was baking (AHAHhahahaha,) I prepared two eggs:

You may be asking yourself “how did she get those eggs so square?” I’ll tell you– four years of graph theory. That’s how, bitches.

Finally, the bacon was done. I toasted two slices of bread while I marveled at the bacony glory:

Assembly time. Behold! Dinner:

I’d like to let all you gentlemen out there know that, yes, I am single. Perplexing, isn’t it?

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