Halloween

November 2, 2009 at 1400 · Filed under alcohol, being single, nyc, other crafts

Highlights of the evening:

• My friend fainting because her corset was on too tight
• A really attractive bartender, who was dressed up as a cowboy and who I thought was gay, would not stop staring at me the entire night. I thought maybe he suspected me of being underage or something, but he ended up introducing himself and telling me he thought I was adorable. It was a nice ego boost considering everything that’s been going on in my romantic life department lately. Update 110409: He called and asked me out for drinks this weekend, but a little investigative work by the friend who threw the party revealed he’s actually married. How sketchy.
• Being dragged to some freaky ass Russian rave, where all the music sounded like folk music being played by dudes on Ecstasy and a bunch of people dressed up as Super Mario characters were running around
• Walking 7 blocks so we could get hot dogs wrapped in bacon with guacamole at around 3 AM.

And here is my costume. I’ll leave it to the reader to interpret what it is. The night’s (wrong) guesses: scarecrow, doll from Coraline, Raggedy Ann, pincushion.

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some various odds and ends.

December 11, 2008 at 0116 · Filed under asstarded, being single, condo, teh emo

I’ve always been the reserved type– the girl who sits to the side quietly observing the party around her. In college, this made me mysterious. Now it just makes me boring.

I decided sometime around the presidential elections that I’d finish writing the book of poetry that I had been toying with putting together for a few years. My poetry is horrible, but it will hopefully sate that impractical need of mine to say exactly what I am feeling in as obfuscated a manner as possible.

I disabled my OKCupid account, as I have neither the drive nor desire to scour profiles looking for that unlikely guy who seems remotely interesting enough to message. Every guy I’ve been excited about invariably is disinterested in me, anyway. Since the handful of dates (all 8 of them!) I’ve gone on in the past two years of my being single have all originated through some form of online bullshit, this pretty much clinches the fact that I’m permanently single.

I own a condo now. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. This satisfies my long term goal of owning property before I turn 30. Unfortunately, my only other long term goal was to fall in love, so I’m going to need to find a new one. I wonder if there are any world records involving bacon I can break.

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Ugh.

December 2, 2008 at 2258 · Filed under being single

I have to see these ads every day on the A train.

Thanks, Dentene. I didn’t already feel bummed out about still not having a boyfriend.

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THE AMERICAN DREAM

December 1, 2008 at 2038 · Filed under asstarded, being single, food

Chicken fried chocolate covered bacon.

Recipe:

1 cup flour
2 eggs
1/3 cup milk
Powdered sugar
Chocolate Fudge sauce or syrup
4 slices bacon
Vegetable oil

Beat eggs and milk in a bowl. Cut bacon slices and half. Dip into egg and then into flour, making sure the slices are well coated. Fill frying pan with enough oil for slices to float and heat on low-medium heat. Fry bacon until crispy golden brown.

PROTIP: For thicker coating, take slices out halfway and redip in flour.

PROTIP: For crispier bacon, pre-fry in unoiled pan until cooked but still limp.

Remove bacon from oil and blot with paper towels. Sprinkle with powder sugar. Place on serving plate and drizzle with chocolate sauce. ENJOY!

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I take eggs seriously.

November 12, 2008 at 1952 · Filed under asstarded, being single, food

I have some very strong opinions on the matter of omelets. The first being– an omelet is not a quesadilla with a fried egg for a tortilla. That bears repeating. AN OMELET IS NOT A FUCKING QUESADILLA WITH A FRIED EGG FOR A TORTILLA. What is wrong with you people? You think you can fry up a sheet of egg, slap some ingredients on top, and fold it over? That is cheating. If you have to rely on cheese to keep your ingredients from spilling out, you did it wrong.

This is my dinner omelet. Notice the ingredients are held together by EGG. This particularly good because I didn’t feel like eating any damned cheese tonight.

Oh, and if my omelet bleeds runny egg when I cut into it, I will stab whomever made it with my fork. That shit is nasty, yo.

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