Archive for asstarded

I take eggs seriously.

I have some very strong opinions on the matter of omelets. The first being– an omelet is not a quesadilla with a fried egg for a tortilla. That bears repeating. AN OMELET IS NOT A FUCKING QUESADILLA WITH A FRIED EGG FOR A TORTILLA. What is wrong with you people? You think you can fry up a sheet of egg, slap some ingredients on top, and fold it over? That is cheating. If you have to rely on cheese to keep your ingredients from spilling out, you did it wrong.

This is my dinner omelet. Notice the ingredients are held together by EGG. This particularly good because I didn’t feel like eating any damned cheese tonight.

Oh, and if my omelet bleeds runny egg when I cut into it, I will stab whomever made it with my fork. That shit is nasty, yo.

ZOMG TEH INTERNET

Remember when the Internet was just starting to become mainstream?

Yeah, those were good times.

Stay classy, Jersey City - part 2

sauce

change we can believe in.

kelly: http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/404/255271742172e37d5224jf7.jpg
kelly: does your presidential candidate do fist bumps?
kelly: HUH
kelly: no he does not.
kelly: http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/the_stump/bump.jpg
kelly: NOT WITH HIS WIFE
kelly: NOT WITH CHILDREN
kelly: NOT WITH AMERICA

WTF, Staples?!?

So despite my hoarding FreshDirect boxes for a year and a half, I was short for my upcoming move. I figured I’d go to Staples and pick up a box or six, since begging at the grocery store isn’t up my alley.

Anyway…

WTF, staples? Nearly NINE DOLLARS for three boxes? It’s CARDBOARD, for fuck’s sake!

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