Guest blogging again!
Happy Christmas, everyone. I will be guest posting on the rest of December’s xkcd strips over at the xkcd sucks blog. Today’s post is here.
Post-Thanksgiving dreams
Dream 1
I am in the forest outside my parents’ house in Maine; it is dark and I am with some strange man wearing a flannel cap. We are trying to find flying squirrels. We hear a strange chirping sound and he shines his flashlight into the treetops, but there are only branches and darkness.
Dream 2
My friends and I are barhopping in Manhattan; I feel awkward and out of place since most of them are married. My friend needs to get a bottle of aspirin for her headache. I direct her to the Duane Reade across the street and wait outside while my other friends proceed to the next bar. Her husband returns, and we head to the bar, but it starts pouring rain. My friends duck into a pizza shop while I’m stuck out in the street. Once the rain stops, I stomp down to find a place where I can buy dry clothes while my friends eat pizza. A man stops me and exclaims, “what happened to you?!”
My friends get a text from my friend who is at a wine tasting at the Greene Grape downtown. We pile into an SUV and try to figure out how to get down there.
Dream 3
I am hanging out with Paul McCartney and John Lennon. We are doing a photoshoot for the promo material of their latest tour. Apparently, I am their fill-in drummer. They are asked to do a pair of topless shots each; this proves troublesome for me, since I am female.
On stage, I realize I can’t actually drum. This is resolved when the crowd begins chanting for KISS instead. We resolve this by donning their makeup (I am Peter Criss. Bummer.) and stage diving.
Dream 4
I am in the movie The Little Mermaid, only in this version, Ariel has already gotten her legs by visiting with the humans. She is swimming off the pier while I attempt to liberate several shrimp diiners. I then try to save a lobster, but he grabs onto my sleeve as I toss him, causing his shell to crack open on the ground.
Ariel is given a fish-tail skirt to conceal her legs from her father, but she loses it. Since I am human, I can’t visit her father herself to give an excuse for her tardiness. I attempt to feed a lie to her ditzy fish friend, but she cannot keep the story straight. Luckily, I see my brother and his friends swimming by (he is a black lobster,) and we proceed to the royal palace in order to explain why Ariel cannot dine with him that night.
WTF?
Recurring dreams
Over the past view months, I have had repeating variations on the same dream. In all of them, my parents are either moving a) from their house in Maine back to Hempstead, NY, where I grew up, b) from Hempstead to Maine, or c) from their current house to a new house, also in Maine.
In most of these dreams, we are trying to coordinate the movie but are worried about getting all our things packed, not having a moving van and trying to move everything with a pickup in multiple trips, getting everything moved before I have to go back to work, etc. Only once have we successfully gotten moved in; usually the dream ends up being an exercise in anxiety, or I end up back at my elementary school in Garden City where all my classmates are frozen at age 12.
I hate having these dreams. I’m always incredibly frustrated and helpless in them and wake up feeling uneasy and sick. I don’t believe in dream interpretation much, but the fact that I have had countless numbers of the “moving dream” makes me wonder if my brain is trying to tell me something.
Mysterious midnight visitor
I woke up at around 3:00 am to find this little dude rubbing his head on my hand. I guess he had gotten in through my slightly open window. I couldn’t tell if he was a stray, but he was so clean and affectionate that I think he may be someone’s pet. Sadly, he was gone when I woke in the morning, but if I run into him again I’ll have to see if he needs a home.
Oh, and I am posting this on my new Motorola Droid! It’s super sweet.
Halloween
Highlights of the evening:
- My friend fainting because her corset was on too tight
- A really attractive bartender, who was dressed up as a cowboy and who I thought was gay, would not stop staring at me the entire night. I thought maybe he suspected me of being underage or something, but he ended up introducing himself and telling me he thought I was adorable. It was a nice ego boost considering everything that’s been going on in my romantic life department lately. Update 110409: He called and asked me out for drinks this weekend, but a little investigative work by the friend who threw the party revealed he’s actually married. How sketchy.
- Being dragged to some freaky ass Russian rave, where all the music sounded like folk music being played by dudes on Ecstasy and a bunch of people dressed up as Super Mario characters were running around
- Walking 7 blocks so we could get hot dogs wrapped in bacon with guacamole at around 3 AM.
And here is my costume. I’ll leave it to the reader to interpret what it is. The night’s (wrong) guesses: scarecrow, doll from Coraline, Raggedy Ann, pincushion.
